Pic credit: as seen on Facebook, origin unknown
This image struck a chord with me as it perfectly expresses my grandmother’s greatest wish. Indeed, it would be any normal parent’s wish. Except that my grandmother is already languishing seeing the enmity among her children during her lifetime.
Through this blog, I hope to get to the root of the problem:
- Where did this enmity originate? What was the issue so great that people deemed it necessary to “cut off” God-made family ties without any explanation?
- What, or who, stops Mercy’s younger children from communicating among themselves and Daughter 1, even to see to her welfare?
- If Son 2, Daughter 2 and their respective spouses are failing in their duty to care for their mother, why are their extended families, especially the counsellors of Family A, silent on the matter despite being repeatedly approached to bridge divides?
- Why, after eight years of living in America and being a green card holder with all the rights and entitlements that brings, did she return to Mumbai to live alone with a maid to look after her, dependant on kind neighbours for assistance with her many health requirements? Why was she not dissuaded from this unwise course of action?
- Why does this lady with children settled in three countries not have the freedom to travel between their homes? Who has left her stranded in Mumbai, without even a valid passport to travel, should the need arise?
I have been privileged to know some elders who’ve lived well into their nineties (one gentleman even reaching 100). They managed that with the loving care and support of their families. My grandmother is currently 77. Even with the couple of genuine health concerns she has, there is no reason she cannot have many more years of life if she is treated compassionately and can live with peace of mind. But at the rate at which she is presently having to take medicines, that life is going to be cut short.
This is due to the work of these unholy puppet masters in our lives, pulling strings to pad their own coffers at her expense. They do not want her in their homes, but among other things, they want her house, her flat in Mumbai which was supposed to go to Son 2 after her time. And so they’re speeding up the process. They don’t use physical violence, because that is obviously a crime. Their abuse is emotional, intangible. Much harder to detect, much harder to prove, unless the victim speaks up.
And so that is the point of this blog: to bring these murky and malicious issues into the light; to be the voice of an old woman who feels compelled to remain silent. To make people aware that you simply CANNOT treat the elderly and vulnerable in this way.
My message to those directly responsible for my grandmother’s care is this: participate fully and compassionately in her well-being. It is a terrible shame that a.) you need this spelt out to you and b.) that I have to resort to blogging to do it. So either cooperate, or tell her openly that you don’t want the responsibility of looking after her. As much as that will hurt her, at least she will know where she stands. She can then move on with her life and make her decisions accordingly.